


me in the black and white photo

by rainbundles



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Everyone loves jeongin, Fluff, M/M, Platonic Soulmates, au where you lose your colour vision at age 18 until you meet/see your soulmate, if you will!, mostly plotless but it be like that sometimes, moves slowly i guess?, no honourifics, rewritten to no longer include woojin 090920, seungin are cute pls appreciate them, some text fic elements, this is a fluff only house, universal ages
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 03:23:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21237350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbundles/pseuds/rainbundles
Summary: On September 22nd, at 12 am on-the-dot, Seungmin's colour vision had faded into black and white, just as it does for every 18-year-old.If he's being honest, it kind of sucks. Even if he knows it's not permanent.That's why he needs to paint colourful memories for his childhood best friend, Jeongin, to keep safe before he loses his, too. After all, it's Jeongin's last day with colour.And it has to be perfect.-alternatively, soulmate au where you lose your colour vision when you turn 18 and only regain it when you meet your soulmate (but both soulmates have to be at least 18 for it to restore)





	me in the black and white photo

**Author's Note:**

> wooh writing still doesnt come easily to me so i hope this is alright!!
> 
> ANYWAYS WHOS HERE SEUNGIN NATION? (like 3 people, including me, cheer).. very ambitious of me to use a somewhat rarepair as the main characters when i crave validation but hey WE OUT HERE
> 
> personally im partial to the idea of platonic soulmates which is why it's written somewhat openly regarding that!
> 
> the title of this fic and chapter are both from colours by day6! which brings me to CHARACTER THEME SONGS because i DO WHAT I WANT
> 
> seungmin - colours; day6  
jeongin - colours; loona
> 
> can u tell where my inspiration came from yet? anyways enjoy? maybe?

It’s been a long five months since it happened for Seungmin. He hadn’t felt excited, or even really that sad- he knew it’d happen, after all. It happens for everyone.  


On September the 22nd, at 12 am precisely, it began. The change wasn’t sudden, it wasn’t like a light switch had ‘turned all the colours off’. Grey ate at the corners of his vision, slowly draining the life of everything until it reached the centre of his gaze, and it was all gone. Life was black and white, everything around him drenched in dullness. 

Seungmin had grown used to it sooner than he’d expected. There was no point in moping, anyway- this wasn’t permanent and Seungmin has enough patience to prevent concern from festering.  


That's just how the world is. You turn 18, and your colour vision vanishes, only able to be restored by your... person (Seungmin was never much a fan of the word 'soulmate'). So he's waiting for them to bring his colours back, he's waiting to do the same for them.   


It’s been five months. But Seungmin’s hardly counting.

He gets out of bed, early as usual- he’s the only person he knows who’s perfectly fine with getting out of bed at 9 am or earlier. Today, at least, he suspects his friends will get up for once.

Why?  


Because everyone has a soft spot for Jeongin.

Who wouldn’t want to make the most out of the younger boys last day in colour?

Today is the 7th of February. Tomorrow will be the 8th, and the moment it hits 12 am, Jeongin will lose his colours the same way Seungmin had. For a while, the thought that the loss will take a toll on Jeongin has rested at the back of Seungmin’s mind leading up to this very day. Losing colours... Seungmin knows Jeongin like the back of his hand and knows that black-and-white won't suit him, seeing as the younger is so bright, so cheerful. His personality is _colourful. _He doesn’t belong in a colourless world. With this in mind, Seungmin has subconsciously been tanking responsibility for easing Jeongin into it as much as possible- truthfully, he can’t stand the thought of seeing the younger boy dulled down by something he can’t help, even if it is something that happens for everyone.   


With a huff, Seungmin blindly pats his bedside table until he grasps the round shape of his glasses and slides them on blearily. He tugs his phone out of its charger, swiping into the group chat- just to double-check that everyone’s up, because he knows he can’t really trust anyone to get up on their own. 

**JEONGIN BIRTHDAY GANG GANG (7 members)**

**the Planner (KSM): **

you all better be awake

or else

i will

consume you

**the Vampire (BC):**

yeah! i’m up! before you ask. i DID SLEEP

**the Planner (KSM): **

sounds fake but ok!

i have to find out when innies awake

i’ll be texting him soon

you assholes better wake up and be ready

**the Vampire (BC):**

looks like you’re probably gonna have to make some calls

**the Planner (KSM):**

these people are all useless

will you really not help me, chan?

**the Vampire (BC):**

i Have to help you… i cannot say no to you….

**the Dark (SCB):**

lix and i are both up

**the Planner (KSM):**

dibs not waking hyunjin

i’ll get the other two

**the Vampire (BC):**

when i said i’d help you

I DIDNT MEAN THIS

**the Planner (KSM):**

thank you for kindly offering to wake hyunjin :)

gotta go call the others!

**the Dark (SCB):**

good luck chan! 

you’ll need it

-

Swiftly, before Chan can turn against him, Seungmin closes the chat, ensuring his status displays as ‘offline’. After a moments debate, he settles on calling Jisung rather than Minho and clicks to call. He wonders why he even questioned who to call in the first place- the day Kim Seungmin would rather wake up Lee Minho than Jisung is a dark day for all. 

It rings once, blasting into his ear in an uncomfortable static and making him flinch. His phone volume is turned up way too loud for this time in the morning. With a scrunched expression of displeasure, he turns it down to two bars. 

It rings twice- this time more quietly, yet still loud enough to fill the corners of his silent bedroom.

Three times.

Four.

Five.

Si- “Hello…?” A voice thick with sleep speaks through the static, breaking into Seungmin’s count.

“Han Jisung, if you don’t get up right now-”

Suddenly the voice is more awake, tinged with panic. “Shit, am I late? What’s the time? What’s going on?”

“No, no, no, you’re fine, but you _would_ be late if it weren’t for me. Can you get Minho? I hate to be dramatic but I think I’d rather perish then call him while he’s sleeping.” Seungmin shudders at the thought. Minho isn’t too difficult to wake up (most of the time), but he can be exceptionally grumpy- and Seungmin isn’t hanging out to deal with that today, not while he’s dealing with the stress of organising this whole event on the fly. 

“Ah, of course I can. Any details on what we’re doing?” 

“Not yet. Just keep updated in the chat, I guess. You’d better get ready.” Without waiting for a response, Seungmin hangs up, bringing himself to the bathroom.

In the mirror, his hair is a mess of grey, wayward and somewhat gravity defiant as per usual when he wakes up. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss seeing his hair colour.

He’d had it cherry-red for the longest time, the bright hue complimenting the soft features of his face. The colour had been maintained since he began high school, the version of himself in his most cherished memories brandishing the shade. 

Before his birthday, he'd dyed it back to brown so he didn’t have to go through any dye troubles when all he could see was grey. On that day, he remembers clearly, he'd sauntered out of the hair salon bereft of his personality, unable to even enjoy his simple pieces of happiness like the sunshine or the birds singing around him. He'd met up with his friends, who grieved with him, comments of how it just wasn't the same bouncing around the group. It's not that he looks bad in brown- far from, actually, the soft colour pairs well with his diligent demeanour- but the red that had become part of him had been abandoned, and it felt wrong. 

He brushes it down with a grey brush and washes his face with a grey towel. Most of his friends can see colour again, but here he is, surrounded by all of the most boring tones. It doesn’t matter, really. One day he’ll get his colours back and he’ll dye his hair cherry-red again and know the wait was worth it. The only issue is the wait itself.

Today isn’t about that. It’s about making sure Jeongin doesn’t miss it like Seungmin sometimes does. Seungmin knows Jeongin almost as well as he knows himself. For the small episodes of sadness he has about being effectively colourblind; Jeongin would have them constantly, three times as bad- he’s not going to sit back and just watch it happen. 

Although, he is a little comforted that he won’t be alone in this grey world anymore. He’ll have Jeongin by his side, and they’ll see the same shades together. Seungmin hopes that his company will be enough to help Jeongin feel less emptied by the lack of colour, too. For now, hoping is all he can do. 

The outfit he’s sorted for today is basic- a flowy, somewhat oversized button-up white shirt and black jeans. He tucks his shirt into the jeans— only half of it though, because that’s what Minho’s taught everyone to do (and Seungmin begrudgingly accepts that yes, it does actually look quite fashionable); plus he knows that if he doesn’t commit to the half-tuck then Minho will yank half of his shirt out for him. 

He’s grown accustomed to wearing mostly colourless outfits, although this is hardly abnormal. Most colourblind people do this; Seungmin can recall how many people he used to see outside wearing just black, white and grey before he turned 18- he hadn’t understood why, back then. Not until the day after Jisung went colourblind and showed up to his house in bright red pants and a highlighter green shirt, looking like a Christmas disaster when he’d assumed he’d picked out entirely different items. Then Seungmin understood. There are workarounds, but it’s easier to avoid fashion disasters for the small cost of having it be so publicly obvious to those with colour-vision that you’re colourless. 

Even so, there's one thing Seungmin keeps with him all the time. His favourite piece of clothing he owns, his treasured purple hoodie. Despite the appearance being a much less inviting shade of grey nowadays, the hoodie he drapes over his desk chair always helps him remember the rich, royal purple that he’d worn more than he could count. Purple, his favourite colour- and the last colour he’d seen, staring at the purple fabric until the tide of grey completely washed over. He hastily ties it around his waist and takes his phone from where he’d settled it down on the sink to text Jeongin.

**an eevee and its trainer (2 members)**

**champion seung:**

psssst innie

innie innie innie are you up

innie

innie innie innie

**eevee-in: **

don’t spam me. 

not until ive had a coffee or something

**champion seung:**

you’ve been hanging around minho too much you grump

do you have any plans on this fine morning?

**eevee-in:**

not really

i’ll probably get minho to buy me a coffee

or hyunjin

or everyone

**champion seung:**

OR

i could treat you to breakfast? 

**eevee-in:**

oh..? :0

if coffee’s included im sold

**champion seung:**

its safe to assume coffee’s part of breakfast, stupid

**eevee-in: **

okay sold 

give me time to get ready

20?

**champion seung: **

20 is good!

dont worry about transport

i’ve got it sorted, i’ll be there in 20

———

**JEONGIN BIRTHDAY GANG GANG (7 members)**

**the Planner (KSM):**

HEY

innie is in!

he’s given 20

chan, are you here???

**the Vampire (BC):**

don’t worry seungmin! i’m here! 

i imagine i’m grabbing everyone?

**the Planner (KSM):**

please and thank you?

**the Vampire (BC):**

of course!! :D pancake house, right?

**the Planner (KSM):**

yes yes~

**the Memer (LF): **

changbin says he might have a problem with 20

^^;

**the Vampire (BC):**

i’m on my way out so changbinnie will have to deal with it

**the Prince (HHJ):**

WAIT NO I ONLY JUST GOT UP PLEASE SPARE ME

**the Vampire (BC):**

this is NOT my fault, by the way,

**the Planner (KSM):**

quit texting and just get ready 

you’ve got 20 so USE it

**the Prince (HHJ):**

yes sir yes sir right away sir 

**the Gem (LMH):**

haha im already ready

sucks to suck!

**the Squirrel (HJS): **

yo _@the Vampire_ come by minho’s first!!

we’re both ready :>

**the Planner (KSM):**

he’d better not be on his phone in the car

**the Vampire (BC):**

don’t worry! i haven’t started driving yet

i’ll come grab you first _@the Squirrel_

and make a lucky guess as to whether changbin or hyunjin is ready first

**the Gem (LMH): **

place your bets

i’ll bet on hyunjin

5,000W

**the Squirrel (HJS):**

it’d be a fun bet to take if only any of us were stupid enough to bet on changbin..

even lix wouldn’t

**the Memer (LF):**

[felix is offline]

**the Squirrel (HJS):**

my point has been Proven.

_11mins later_

**the Vampire (BC):**

i have obtained a squirrel and a gem

prince next?

**the Prince (HHJ): **

yes! i’m ready!!

i appreciate everyones faith in me

**the Planner (KSM):**

its not faith in u so much as a lack thereof in changbin

**the Prince (HHJ): **

:(

**the Dark (SCB):**

:(

**the Planner (KSM):**

aaaaanyways did you guys make sure to bring gifts??

dont forget them

theyre always nicer in colour

**the Gem (LMH):**

sung and i have ours

not to brag or anything but

innie will like mine the best

**the Prince (HHJ):**

you cant… you cant just say “not to brag”

then continue to brag anyways

**the Gem (LMH): **

Watch Me.

**the Memer (LF):**

got mine! it took a while to find though

since i bought it like… 9 months ago

**the Prince (HHJ):**

classic yongbokkie

**the Planner (KSM):**

cool cool just dont forget to bring them in the car

**the Vampire (BC):**

_@the Prince_ ding dong

**the Prince (HHJ): **

omw!!!!

**the Vampire (BC):**

_@the Dark_ we’re coming for you so you’d better be ready

**the Squirrel (HJS):**

changbin ready ha ha ha funny funny joke

**the Planner (KSM):**

_@the Memer_ please make sure bin has his gift

**the Memer (LF):**

yup got it!!! ^v^

**the Vampire (BC):**

_@the Memer @the Dark_ we’re parked outside

**the Memer (LF):**

…parked…

**the Vampire (BC):**

you may recall we wasted petrol last time we waited for changbin

**the Gem (LMH):**

drag him out by the ear

**the Vampire (BC):**

tempting.

**the Memer (LF): **

i’ll bring him out with me

pls no ear dragging

**the Prince (HHJ): **

heheh binnie looks pissed

**the Planner (KSM):**

remind him we’re doing this for innie 

so he wont whine as much hjdfksf

**the Vampire (BC):**

obtained!

**the Dark (SCB):**

i KNOW

why is there shame in wanting to look my best for innie

it’s the last time he’ll see me in colour for who knows how long

i need to leave an impression

**the Gem (LMH): **

binnie you should’ve tried being born beautiful,,,

it makes it a lot easier,,

saves a lot of time,,,

**the Memer (LF):**

fight with your words guys..!!!

you’re making chan feel left out by giggling at ur phones :(

**the Planner (KSM):**

feeling really grateful that im not in that car rn

**the Prince (HHJ):**

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT, FELIX

THIS HOUSE IS A NIGHTMARE

**the Memer (LF):**

i have… Regrets.

**the Planner (KSM):**

ignoring hyunjins cries for help-

_@the Memer_ tell chan to drop everyone off before getting me

i want it to be a surprise for innie

so he’ll think its just me and chan

**the Prince (HHJ): **

you slippery snake 

you just dont want to be in the hell car

**the Planner (KSM):**

i’ll be honest this was my idea from the start

missing out on the car trip was just a bonus!

**the Memer (LF):**

we’ve been dumped outside the pancake house

chan’s coming for you seungmin~~! 

**the Planner (KSM):**

cool, head to the table reserved under innies name

i’ll see you there!

—

**an eevee and its trainer (2 members)**

**champion seung:**

hey im omw

sorry for taking a little extra time

**eevee-in:**

its chill

i had to explain to mum why i was getting dressed up anyway

**champion seung:**

i’ll be there really soon!!

-

_@eevee-in _we’re outside 

— 

Seungmin looks up from his phone right in time to watch the front door swing open, with none other than Yang Jeongin bursting out. A black coat covers the pale turtleneck he wears, stuffed into dark jeans bedazzled by a belt buckle. The outfit’s nice and all, for the lack of colour Seungmin can see, but the most fashionable item Jeongin brings with him is his smile. No one can bring up the atmosphere merely by smiling as Jeongin does. It’s a stretchy smile, one that fills his cheeks and slits his sharp eyes. 

Adorning said grin, Jeongin hurries to the car, opting for the front seat which Seungmin had decisively given up for him. He slams the door behind him as he greets them, plugging in his seatbelt. 

“Hey, Chan! Are you joining us today?” Seungmin can see Jeongin eyeing Chan’s short-sleeved shirt with doubt- the cold air from having the car door open for five seconds is lingering in a way that raises goosebumps on his skin. Needless to say, Chan’s attire is hardly suited for Winter. 

Chan just shrugs as he pulls out of the driveway, clearly unbothered. “If you’ll have me!”

Jeongin then turns around to face Seungmin, as if asking permission; to which Seungmin gives a thumbs-up. He’s surprised Jeongin hasn’t caught on to the plan yet, but he imagines there’s probably a lot on the younger’s mind. The last day in colour is a lot to take in, after all.

“You can join, for sure! But I’m not paying. Wait, where are we even going?” 

A smirk plays on Seungmin’s face before he can even try to stop it. “I dunno.”

Exasperated, Jeongin throws his head back against the headrest with a gentle thump. “I already regret trusting you. I shouldn’t have agreed.” 

Seungmin says nothing more, for fear of giving himself away. He hides his smile behind his hand as he peers out the car window, watching frosted trees that are littered along the side of the street flash past and shift into buildings. 

He quickly pulls out his phone, one last time to make sure everything is according to plan so far. There are a few missed messages— nothing too important (at least not in Seungmin’s eyes). 

**JEONGIN BIRTHDAY GANG GANG (8 members)**

**the Dark (SCB):**

all im saying is that

in the time we’re all sitting here

i couldve gotten ready

but instead

im just SITTING HERE

**the Prince (HHJ): **

did you really go into the group chat just so seungminnie would see your complaints

**the Dark (SCB):**

YES!!!!!!

**the Prince (HHJ): **

sometimes… i cannot stand your petty ass

**the Dark (SCB):**

you LOVE ME AND I KNOW YOU SECRETLY AGREE WITH ME

**the Planner (KSM):**

changbin. i REALLY could not care less

ANYWAY

fennec fox inbound!!

we’re almost there so you’d better all be at the table

or else

i will

consume

you

**the Squirrel (HJS):**

we’re all here 

there will be NO consuming

**the Gem (LMH):**

how many times will you use that threat without actually consuming anyone.

i’m Waiting. 

**the Planner (KSM):**

you’ll live to regret those words, lee minho.

we’re pulling in now! hide your gifts pls

like under the table or something

**the Prince (HHJ):**

yes sir

**the Memer (LF):**

yes sir

**the Squirrel (HJS):**

yes sir

AYYYY 00Z

**the Planner (KSM):**

00z!!

but also be quiet so he doesnt suspect you

see u in a sec

-

Seungmin slides his phone into his pocket as the car begins to slow down, silently thanking Chan for carrying a conversation with Jeongin while he texted. 

“Pancakes, huh?” Jeongin remarks, looking out the window as Chan parks right out front of the small café. 

“They’ll be better than the ones Lix and I made that one time,” Seungmin says with a sigh, but Jeongin laughs at the memory, enthusiasm turning his eyes into crescents. The pancakes in question, which Seungmin and Felix had decided on impulse to make in the morning of a sleepover, hadn't been total failures. There was something lumpy in the texture that made them stick to the roof of their mouths, but they were edible which was a victory in itself (especially if it's them in the kitchen). Even though Seungmin's sure it was out of pity for their efforts, Jeongin had vouched for having seconds and thirds. Not terrible! But certainly not chef quality, so the opportunity to mend that experience is welcome. 

Seungmin waits for the engine to turn off before opening the door and stepping into the crisp, cool air of Winter, his breath escaping him in clouds that dissipate before his eyes. 

Large window panes face them, showing off the booths inside that hide anyone that could be sitting there- perfect for the element of surprise that Seungmin had been aiming for. Chan walks ahead of them, opening the door and gesturing for them to head inside. The pair of younger boys mumble thanks as they walk in, Seungmin rolling his eyes at how Chan is beginning to shiver from the cold. Luckily, when they step inside, they’re greeted by comfortable warmth emitting from heaters that crouch in every corner of the café. 

Seungmin can’t help but feel relieved that all he can hear is the clatter and chatter of other customers and the bustle of the kitchen. No sign of the usually loud and prominent voices of his friends, which means they’d listened to him on keeping quiet! Perhaps they were just afraid of being consumed, but either way, so far so good. 

“Table for Yang Jeongin?” Seungmin asks the man at the counter, who offers a small smile as he creeps around the front of it. 

“Right this way,” He says, briskly making his way down the hallway without even checking to see if the three boys were following. 

As they round the corner of one of the booths, several voices immediately raise in a way Seungmin momentarily worries will get them kicked out. 

“Happy birthday Innie!” They chime, Seungmin stammering a nervous apology to the man who’d lead them there. The man merely gives a slight nod before breaking away to return to the counter. 

“Wh- what are you guys all doing here? My birthday is tomorrow? Why today?” Jeongin spews out questions in his shocked state, Seungmin tugging him into the booth to sit next to him while Chan finds his place across from them.

“Grey pancakes wouldn’t be nearly as nice as ones in colour,” Seungmin explains simply, taking the two menus that Minho passes to him and pushing one into Jeongin’s hands. 

There’s a small chorus of agreement.

“Besides, you know that Chan and I have our swim relay semis tomorrow,” Hyunjin pipes up, his voice tinted with regret. “It’s better to do this today since we can all be together!”

Jisung nods in agreement. “There’d be no way we could all come together tomorrow. Isn’t it nicer to see us in colour now?”

Jisung’s words inspire a small pang in Seungmin’s chest. It _would_ be nicer to see them in colour, if only he could. He gives his head a small shake, shaking away the bitter thought. It’s not about him. Jeongin can see colour today. This is for him. 

As if he can see Seungmin’s heart sinking, Jeongin gives the older a nudge. “Let’s order, Seungmin,” he says, with his impossibly contagious smile. 

“Right.”

“I’m gonna order the most expensive thing, since you said you’d pay,” Jeongin teases, yelping when Seungmin gives him a shove that makes him fall dramatically against Minho’s side. Minho pushes Jeongin back to defend himself from falling like a domino onto Jisung, having Jeongin grip onto Seungmin’s arm to stabilise himself. Usually, Seungmin would flinch away from the touch dramatically, but not today.

“No pushing the birthday boy!” Chan says loudly, in his overly authoritative leader voice. 

“It’s not even his birthday!” Seungmin argues while Changbin cuts in. “Just order! We’ve all already decided!” 

Seungmin huffs, but he’s smiling as he scrolls through the menu. He settles quickly on a classic syrup and banana pancake, with a fried egg to the side because it just wouldn’t be a Seungmin breakfast order without an egg being involved. The other boys at the table would argue that Seungmin maybe likes eggs too much, but Seungmin always says the same thing in response; they’re just upset that Seungmin’s love for eggs nets him more protein than them. 

“Caramelized apple!” Jeongin announces suddenly, snapping his menu shut and snapping Seungmin from the menu items he’d been blankly staring at. When Jeongin slams his menu down, the table jitters beneath it; effectively garnering everyone’s attention. He was good at that when he wanted to be. “And an Americano.” 

Chan looks at the youngest inquisitively from across the table. “Ever tried caramelized apple? Like inside or outside of a pancake?” 

“Nope!” Jeongin beams and Seungmin really can’t help but commend Jeongin’s explorative tastebuds when he tends to stick to the same old plain style. Ironically, the pair have been black-and-white like that since they were little, Jeongin’s adventurousness poles apart from Seungmin’s consistency. “That’s why I wanted to try. Plus, if I don’t like it, Seungmin will have to buy me another pancake.” 

Before Seungmin can consider shoving Jeongin yet again, Minho stretches his arm out over the younger like a seatbelt, smirk alight with challenge. 

“I won’t push him, okay?” Seungmin concedes easily, and Minho retracts his arm.

Everything happens quickly after that.

They order in a flash, and Seungmin’s so caught up in thinking that he doesn't pick up on a single one of their orders. He’s trying to figure out what to do with the rest of the day- he’d planned a lot of it out, thanks to his organised nature, but he’d been so busy sorting out… _other…_ details that the main contents of the day had escaped his mind. 

Clearly, that’s a problem for future Seungmin as Jeongin can’t leave him with his thoughts for that long. So, albeit distractedly, he joins in the conversation as they wait for their orders to arrive. 

They smell it before they see it. Sweet scents of nutella, banana and apple waft to their noses, Seungmin’s stomach lurching in hunger with an ambient growl. Paying attention to how hungry he was had been the last thing on his mind, but when his eyes find the source of the smell it hits him like a tsunami. Everyone lets out laughter at the loud sounds emitting from Seungmin’s stomach, but Seungmin can’t find it in him to care when the pancakes are being set down right under his nose.

Not even the greyscale colour-wash can deter how appetising they look. There’s about three stacked on each plate, decorated with their different flavours. The server hands two plates of whipped cream - on closer inspection, there actually _are_ pancakes underneath - to Felix and Jisung. Caramelized apple go to Jeongin, of course, Hyunjin, and Minho, while the rest of the group settled on plain combinations with banana for the sakes of their health or diets. Changbin complains, though, when he sees the more exciting pancakes and feels a little let down by the plainness of his own. Seungmin, not mirroring Changbin's disappointment, is ecstatic- the smell is making his stomach churn in anticipation, and he has to stop himself from digging in the instant his plate is set down. 

Food vanishes in a flash, as it always does with this particular group. Talking tends to escape them during meals, everyone focused on tucking in- it’s like an unspoken, mutual agreement that they’d all much rather fill their stomachs than make weird mealtime conversation. Seungmin eats the slowest, as he always has, but it gives him time to watch.  


Felix devours his pile of sugar with a side of pancake, having ordered _extra_ sweet things on top of the already sweet pancake. Seungmin's painfully reminded of the pancakes he and Felix had made, where the latter had deemed them delicious only after coating them in whipped cream and chocolate. A forkful had been shoved into Seungmin's mouth before he could refuse it, the overwhelming sweetness almost making him gag. Had there even been pancake on that fork? Seungmin's still uncertain, and he'll never understand how Felix can eat like that. 

Chan’s pancake is gone within a blink, causing him to resort to stealing forkfuls of Hyunjin’s, and Changbin’s, and whoever’s food is within reach. Jeongin, Hyunjin and Minho reach a verdict that they like the caramelized apple, and are kind enough to spare a forkful for everyone else- making Changbin lament remorsefully about his diet (which, in Seungmin’s opinion, is entirely unnecessary of him to take, but it’s Changbin’s body so he can do what he likes). It's a light, easygoing atmosphere under soft café lights in the quiet morning. Seungmin loves it. 

Times like these always make him wonder how such an odd group of people had come to band together, but ultimately make him thankful. Home was with the eight of them. 

Gift-giving passes quickly too. Minho appears smug as Jeongin cheers while unwrapping the Spiderman lego set he gave him- Jeongin was always a bit of a kid at heart. Jisung gets him an eevee plush because Jeongin had given Jisung a bidoof for his birthday, so now they can match (“What display of friendship is better than having _matching_ plushies?” Jisung had cooed). Chan and Changbin give him more practical things; facial care stuff and vitamins. Hyunjin gifts him a new set of rings, including an Aquarius ring that Jeongin had been eyeing for quite some time. Felix gives him some cologne and a cute fennec fox magnet which Jeongin clearly has _no_ idea how he’ll use but loves regardless. 

Eventually, it comes to Seungmin's turn, Jeongin looking at him expectantly. All Seungmin can do is shake his head at the younger. 

“I got you breakfast! That’s the gift.” Seungmin hotly avoids Jeongin’s gaze, instead looking at everyone else to make sure no one’s giving him away. Their friend group was composed of surprisingly bad liars, but to his relief, none of them looked like they were going to crack. 

“I guess you did,” Jeongin admits with a pointed sip of his americano. Seungmin easily detects the sense of doubt underlying Jeongin’s words, yet thankfully Jeongin goes along with it and doesn’t press further. 

Seungmin nods, awkwardly collecting everyone’s plates to make cleaning easier for whatever waiter comes to them. 

“So, now what? Do you guys have any plans?” Jeongin prompts. The silence that had fallen over the group while Seungmin tidied was ill-hidden, and if Jeongin hadn’t noticed anything was going on before, he certainly has now. 

“Actually,” Chan speaks up, clearing his throat. His eyebrows are furrowed and when he continues his voice is sheepish. “Hyunjin and I have a swim meet to go to before we go to the semis tomorrow.” The aforementioned boy shuffles uncomfortably in his seat, mouthing a ‘sorry’ to Jeongin who offers a reassuring smile in response. 

“I have a work shift,” Minho adds, though he frowns with genuine regret in a rare display of emotion. 

Luckily Jeongin is too caught up in telling them 'it’s okay' to notice the obvious glance that Jisung and Changbin exchange. Seungmin mentally facepalms. As much as he wants to tell them to not lay all their excuses on Jeongin at once, he can’t risk revealing the plans any more than he already has. Sighing, he braces himself for one of the two to speak up. 

Jisung bites the bullet, grabbing Jeongin's attention as he pipes up. “Uh- since Chan is going to be away we, uh- I mean Changbin and I- we need to finish off our project since we won’t have his help.” Jeongin doesn’t seem to take Jisung’s stuttering as a sign that something’s up, seeing as he tends to do that when he speaks too fast. Changbin nods as confirmation, tilting his cap up so he can make eye contact with Jeongin as he elaborates. “We’re really sorry, Innie- we have to get it done.” 

“It’s no bother, guys, really- I was just asking in case. It was nice that we did this in the first place!” Jeongin responds with his arms poised as if physically deflecting their onslaught of apologies. Seungmin listens intently to see if he can find any trace of hurt hiding in his words, but there isn’t any. Hardly surprising, considering that Jeongin is probably the most upfront person he knows- he admires the younger’s honesty, though sometimes the bluntness is a bit much. Still, Seungmin needs to make sure. Today has to go perfectly. 

“Oh, oh!” Felix suddenly breaks in. For the second time, Seungmin mentally facepalms because he knows yet another excuse is about to be piled onto the already-suspicious outburst of announcements. Jeongin raises a brow inquisitively, so with a bob of his head, Felix explains himself. “I have Korean lessons that I need to go to today- there’s a test!”

“Good luck on the test, Lix!” Changbin says, doing his best to sell it. Other murmurs of encouragement for Felix join in. Seungmin doesn’t try to add on, however. His attention is on Jeongin, trying to decipher what the younger boy is thinking as he sweeps his bangs out of his eyes, revealing how they glitter when he adds his own good-humoured wishes to Felix. Seungmin catches himself thinking for a split second about how Jeongin manages to look just as bright in black-and-white as he does in colour, whereas everything else is dulled. 

Even if he _is_ suspicious of how they’re all behaving, Jeongin doesn’t show it. He’s always been good at going with the flow, following the lead of whatever’s happening- yet he can still take charge when he needs to. Despite being the youngest in the group, his actions sometimes reflect a level of maturity seldom found in his older friends. So Seungmin releases the tenseness in his shoulders, allowing himself to relax against the fear of anything going wrong. Jeongin wouldn’t want to interfere with their plans, even if they are making it painfully obvious that something is up.

Or maybe, just maybe, Seungmin is overreacting and it isn’t as obvious as he thinks it is. Maybe Jeongin hasn’t even caught on to their behaviour. He hopes.

“I don’t suppose you have something on too, Seungmin?” There’s a questioning lilt, and a slight lisp as Jeongin’s still not used to having his braces off. 

Many pairs of eyes are burning into Seungmin, awaiting a hint of further instruction as he answers simply. “No.” 

A beat passes where no one says anything, because Seungmin completely forgets to say anything more. There's too much running in his mind. What is he even going to do with today? Why didn’t he think of anything earlier? There’s-

“You two should do something, then!” Chan speaks apologetically, swooping in to save the silence. Seungmin shoots him a look of thanks (or so he hopes- he’s not sure if he’s conveying it right) before nodding towards Jeongin. 

“If you don’t have any plans, Innie, we _could_ hang out.” He puts on his best act, sounding like he’d rather do anything than be stuck with Jeongin. Distractedly, he unties his purple (well, grey, but he’ll never stop trying to imagine the purple colour) hoodie from his waist so he can slip it on, preparing to face Winter’s cold outside of the toasty café yet again. It’s the way the two always act with each other- like they hate it, like being stuck with one another is torture— but they all know that the youngest two have the most fun when together. They're rarely found without each other, a package deal from childhood. 

Jeongin rolls his eyes, sounding equally as disgusted. “What would I even do with _you?_”

“I know what I’d do with you. I’ll eat you!” Seungmin announces in response, leaning towards Jeongin with a gaping mouth. Jeongin immediately flinches back, flopping against Minho. 

“Why do you guys call _me _the weird one when Seungmin always does _this?” _Minho asks incredulously, his arms snaking around Jeongin’s waist as the young boy attempts to shove Seungmin off the edge of the bench. 

“It’s not weird that Jeongin’s cute enough to want to eat,” Seungmin says as he backs off, allowing Jeongin to straighten himself up with a glare.

“But-”

“That’s just Seungminnie’s version of like… squishing cheeks or something. That’s his reaction to cute things,” Hyunjin comes to Seungmin’s defence, pointing an accusatory unused fork at Minho. “No matter what, _your_ weirdness is unrivalled.” 

“Why do you always attack me?”

“He’s just fact-checking,” Jeongin replies with a shrug, earning a mock slap from Minho on the arm. 

“I protected you!” Hurt and betrayal are evident in Minho’s usually monotone voice, and Seungmin can’t conceal an amused snort. “Next time I’m gonna just watch as Seungmin eats you. Expect no pity from me.” 

“I can deal with that,” Jeongin rebuts as Chan slides out of the booth, Hyunjin in tow. They need to move things along if the plan is to work out, and Seungmin ducks his head gratefully towards them for taking initiative. As much as he’d love to just stay and banter the rest of the day away, that was never the objective. 

“We have to get going, Innie. It was nice to be here today, though! And if you want I can drop your presents back at your house so you don’t have to carry them around?” 

“Oh,” Jeongin blinks at them, then nods. Seungmin winces mentally, wondering if their departure was too sudden to not be suspicious. Only a little bit of relief is granted to him as Jeongin continues, Seungmin unclenching fists that he didn’t realise he had been holding before stuffing them into his hoodie pockets. “Yeah, that’d be great, thank you! And thanks for this. It was really fun!” 

Taking the way Seungmin nodded towards Chan as a cue, the others begin to stand as well, prompting Jeongin to slide out of the booth. He jerks Seungmin out with him, having him stumble out in surprise at the sudden action. Minho and Jisung file out, Minho sending Seungmin a subtle wink as he brushes past. 

More goodbyes were exchanged, and with each one Seungmin grew more worried. Would his plan work out? This whole thing had been arranged on a whim, and it wasn’t nearly as thoroughly thought out as he’d wanted it to be. He just has to trust that his friends have his back, that it’ll all be perfect.

For now, there’s something else to tackle.

What on Earth is he going to do with Jeongin? 

They walk outside together, waving as they watch their friends pile into Chan’s car. Seungmin’s mind is somewhere else, absent as they honk a goodbye and drive off, absent to the way Jeongin’s tugging his sleeve as scenarios pile into his mind.

Like: what if Jeongin asks-

“Hey, Seungmin, why don’t we walk to my place?” 

_Shit. _Of _course _he’d ask the exact question Seungmin had been praying against. It doesn't even come as a surprise, after all, Jeongin's house is a second home to Seungmin. Several afternoons once the school bell had gone, he'd go to Jeongin's house without a second thought, his family wouldn't worry because they knew where he'd be. Of course, Jeongin's house is the logical place for the two of them to spend time. Today isn't just another day that they can waste away indoors, however. It's different than all those colourful memories. Today, Seungmin has to make new colourful memories for Jeongin, ones that'll last through the grey dawn of tomorrow. 

He blinks, looking down at Jeongin and sucking in a breath before turning his gaze to the sky.

The shade of grey is light, the clouds seem to be making way for sunshine- even though there’s still that Winter chill, the sun spells promises of a bright day. Good. He can use that.

“Jeongin, you can’t be serious- you want to spend your last day cooped up inside when the weather is clearing up just for you? Come on, let’s enjoy it!” 

“_Seungmin_,” Jeongin whines futilely, knowing that Seungmin’s made a solid point. “What even is there to do outside?”

That makes Seungmin ponder. Even though the sun is beaming as openly as it possibly can, it’s still Winter, so it’s hardly a pleasant temperature to be out in. Especially for Seungmin, since he despises the cold and the way it pricks his skin and numbs his fingers- but today he’s willing to put up with it for Jeongin. Besides, he knows that out of the two of them, Jeongin’s the Winter person anyway. 

“We could walk to Han River from here,” Seungmin suggests. Han River is his go-to option whenever he’s outside. There’s something so peaceful in the flow of the water that seems to wash his mind clear. He loves it, and he knows Jeongin does too. They’ve walked alongside the river together several times, sometimes in silence, sometimes bantering the whole time, but it still feels fresh no matter how often they go.

Jeongin nods in agreement, unable to refuse Han River’s enticing climate. “Okay, but then what?” 

“It’s your day,” Seungmin huffs as the pair make their way away from the café, his breath forming a cloud in front of him. “You should choose what you want. Maybe you’ll think of something when we’re at the river.” He casts a look at Jeongin while they round the corner, noting how the tips of his ears are turning a darker shade of grey. Momentarily, he attempts to visualise the red that they actually have, to no real success. It’s shockingly cold for the time of the day it is; the sun reaching its peak in the sky seems to have no effect whatsoever in combatting Winter’s bite, so Seungmin jams his hands firmly in his hoodie pockets. 

“I already decided what I wanted to do,” Jeongin whinges. “But you told me that we should stay out here!” 

Seungmin rolls his eyes. “Surely there must be something you want to see properly for the last time. Take everything in, Jeongin. Do it, if not for yourself, then for the people who can’t.” 

The more serious note of Seungmin’s words makes Jeongin clamp his jaw shut, nodding in consideration. They continue on in silence, crossing streets and inhaling icy air. Seungmin wonders if this silence is bad, if he’s put a damper on Jeongin’s last day in colours. Maybe he didn’t need to be so intense with his words. He’s considering apologising when they arrive, until Jeongin turns to face him with a smile that has him flushing with relief. 

“Okay, maybe this was a good idea. It’s beautiful today.” 

Seungmin wishes he could see it the way Jeongin’s seeing it, but even so, he agrees that it’s beautiful. Drops of sunlight sparkle on clear water, a mirror of the tall buildings that scrape the sky gently shimmering in the ripples. He steps onto the grass, dew spraying onto his legs. Then, he lets an idea escape his lips. “Tell me what it looks like.”

“What?” Surprise is etched onto Jeongin’s face, his eyebrows raised. 

For a moment, Seungmin merely stares back daftly, calculating how to recover himself. Ultimately, his curiosity betters him, so he extends the thought. “You know— everything. I can only see half of what you’re seeing. What does it look like?”

“Seungmin,” Jeongin protests. “You know I’m bad with words. You should ask Jisung or something, he’d write a poem for you.” 

“But I’m not asking him. I dunno… just… if you wanted to try, it might be nice to hear?” Seungmin sighs. “I don’t know why I even said that. Sorry, Innie.”

“No, no,” Jeongin shakes his head to flatly refuse Seungmin’s apology. “It’s a good idea! I just hope I can do a good job.”

“Anything would be better than what I’m seeing now,” Seungmin smiles, Jeongin falling in step with him as he walks alongside the body of water. “You’ll do great.”

In the beginning, the descriptions are absurd, Jeongin’s words tangling in his mouth. “You know how people say water’s blue? You already know this but it’s _not _blue, but it’s not entirely clear like water from a tap, maybe it’s a little greenish? It’s pretty, you have to trust me, it hasn’t been polluted since your colours have been gone or anything, it still looks nice. No brown here,” Seungmin cackles while Jeongin blushes, growing hot as he continues to speak.

After a while, though, he’s starting to get the hang of it, smoothing out the creases as he pours more thought into the words he uses. “And the buildings. They’re mostly grey and black anyway because that’s modern architecture for you, but since there’s so much glass the sky reflects into them as the sunlight like… bounces off them. They’re not just plain, they’re sparkly- it’s kind of weird how dull colours can still appear so vibrant, now that I’m actually looking.” 

Seungmin can barely imagine anything Jeongin’s saying, everything lingering on the edge of his memory, just out of his scope. Yet, it’s still refreshing to hear. Jeongin seems to be seeing everything with new eyes, observing it all, logging it into his mind while he still can, and the wonder in his voice as he reels over ways to describe what he’s seeing makes it so, _so, _worth it. With each word, Seungmin grows gladder that he asked. 

“And the grass, it’s healthy! Which is why it looks so nice, the grass reminds me of when you’d go in your garden on a Summer day and run through the sprinkler and the grass would be wet but it’d be all, like, _shiny. _We’re walking in it now, and it doesn’t feel dry or crispy, right? So through that, you can almost feel the fresh green colour.” 

The way Jeongin’s carrying himself now is more confident, Seungmin notices. His shoulders are rolled back, head lifted high as he points out new things and animatedly attempts to wrap each colour in a memory tailored specifically to Seungmin, breathing life into colours that had vanished months ago. With each word, he wraps them more tidily, the memories growing stronger and resonating within Seungmin to a point where he can almost feel himself go back in time.

“That umbrella!” Jeongin gestures to a small family on a picnic blanket, using an umbrella to shade them as though it were a hot Summer day. “It’s red and white stripes, but it looks _exactly_ like the one at that old ice cream place we used to go to in 5th grade. You remember, right? We never sat at that table but we always saw the umbrella from the window, the red was bright- like, like, uhhhh…”

Seungmin’s whisked back to the warm days where the two would drag each other to the ice-cream shop, beating the heat being the only thing in their minds. The hole-in-the-wall in question had been painted brilliantly in all sorts of cheerful colours, primary colours making up the majority of it, the red in the umbrellas accenting the decor, although these colours are hard for Seungmin to reach now. That red... he does recall it, the colour was glaring like a warning, but it was hardly out of place amongst everything else so bright. 

“Kind of like a firetruck?” Seungmin supplies, and Jeongin’s face bursts into a grin, infecting Seungmin to wear his own.

“You remember the colour!” He exclaims, his excitement like an explosion of warmth in the frozen air. Against his shivering, Seungmin’s heart swells, his head swimming in happiness. He can’t remember having such a cheerful conversation about colours since he lost them- probably because he _hasn’t _had one. Not only that, but Jeongin’s right- when Seungmin unwraps the boxes of memories Jeongin gifts to him, colours feel closer to him than ever. He can’t place how they look correctly, but he knows how they feel, and it’s more than enough for him. 

“Yeah, I guess I do! You’re actually really good at this, Innie.”

“You say that like you were expecting me to be bad!”

“No- no, I don’t know _what_ I was expecting because I never even meant to ask. But…”

“But?”

Seungmin debates for a moment before giving way to the inquisitive dark eyes searing into him. “But I’m happy that I did.”

“_Hah!” _Jeongin pumps a victorious fist in the air, his loud exclamation briefly catching the attention of a passing cyclist. “You were gonna be mean to me, but for once you couldn’t do it! Finally, I have something to use against you!”

“Hey!” Hisses Seungmin. “I was being genuine!”

“I know,” Jeongin says, immediately backing down, much to Seungmin’s surprise. “And I’m thankful, really. This felt really… fulfilling? Yeah.”

Seungmin bobs his head in acknowledgement, frosty air nipping at the back of his neck. He pulls his hood over his hair, shuddering. Hopefully Jeongin didn’t see.

But of course, he did.

“You cold?”

“It’s fine,” Seungmin lies through chattering teeth. 

"Your ears are bright red."

"Yours are bright grey," Seungmin counters, swiftly making for a subject change as Jeongin scoffs at him. “I just remembered that I should probably make sure Mum knows I’m still out, I didn’t know how long I’d be gone for.”

“Oh, that’s smart,” Jeongin agrees, taking the bait easily. “I should do that too.” 

The pair take one of the several benches scattered on the edges of the river, Seungmin removing his phone from his pockets with trembling fingers that are almost too numb to even unlock it. He quickly takes off his glasses, rubbing the lenses against his hoodie’s sleeves to try to get rid of the fogging from the cold that blurred his sight. 

He had been lying when he’d said he was going to check in with his Mother. Instead, there was a very specific group of people that he wanted an update from.

**JEONGIN BIRTHDAY GANG GANG (7 members)**

**the Planner (KSM):**

hey guys

how is it all going??

**the Prince (HHJ): **

seungminnie!!!

we were wondering when you’d check in

it’s going really well

it all actually looks so nice

this was such a good idea!!

you deserve all the credit, i wish you could see it

**the Planner (KSM):**

i’ll see it soon enough!!

**the Prince (HHJ):**

you know what i mean :(

**the Planner (KSM):**

yeah

nevermind that

how close are you all to finishing?

it’s so freezing out here i think i might die

and innie’s caught on to that

**the Squirrel (HJS):**

chan says we need more time

where even are you guys?

**the Planner (KSM):**

we walked along han river for two hours

**the Gem (LMH): **

get some lunch by the river then

hot food or something

buy a blanket get cozy ;)

**the Planner (KSM):**

yes to the first part. im ignoring the second part

**the Dark (SCB): **

SEUNGMINNNNN

YOU LEFT THE CAKE AT YOUR HOUSEEEE

**the Planner (KSM):**

??!?!?! DID YOU EXPECT ME TO BRING IT TO THE PANCAKE HOUSE

**the Vampire (BC):**

i’ll get it i’ll get it

anything else we should pick up from yours?

**the Planner (KSM):**

i delivered most things yesterday when jeongin was at vocal lessons

if there’s anything left itll be on my desk

**the Vampire (BC):**

cool

_@everyone_ someone come with me to carry the cake

**the Planner (KSM):**

NOT CHANGBIN

**the Squirrel (HJS):**

NOT CHANGBIN

**the Prince (HHJ):**

NOT CHANGBIN

**the Gem (LMH):**

take changbin

**the Dark (SCB):**

fuck you all it was ONE TIME

felix what do you have to say to defend me

**the Memer (LF):**

uhh.

i’ll come to carry the cake.

**the Gem (LMH):**

LMFAOOOOOOO

**the Planner (KSM):**

LOL

anyway

@ me when we can come back

thanks for everything guys

-

Seungmin shoves his phone back into his pocket to find Jeongin staring out at the river. With a deep breath, he looks out as well, disappointment skewing the serenity of the moment as he simmers in the knowledge that what he sees is not the same as what Jeongin is seeing. The bitterness passes as fast as it came. As his eyes skim the water smoothly lapping over a bed of pebbles, all he can do is feel grateful that Jeongin was soaking it in one more time before the two of them would see it the same way. 

No matter what colour he saw it in, Han River always healed his soul in a way that no other place could. He wishes that Jeongin will feel the same; that the two of them could return to Han River when they both could only view things in grey and have Jeongin still feel as invigorated as he does in colour. 

“Do you wanna go to my house now?” Jeongin tears Seungmin from his thoughts, but his voice is soft, laxer now that he’s been to the river. “You’re shivering.”

Oh. He _is _shivering, more violently than he’d thought. With a curse to Winter for creating difficulties that wouldn’t have been there otherwise, Seungmin draws in a breath to reply. “It’s okay. We could go and get something for lunch, though?” 

“Yeah, why not?”

“Ramen by the Han River is a classic,” Seungmin proposes, hoping the irresistible offer will distract Jeongin from his shakes.

It doesn’t work. “It is, but wouldn’t you rather eat indoors?” Jeongin’s trying to coax Seungmin to warmth, and in all honesty, it’s tempting. Regardless, Seungmin exerts his willpower before he has time to be swayed, not ready to give up on his quest yet- not even for a toasty haven where he can settle down and soak in the warmth with a nice bowl of kimchi jjigae. 

“You know I’m an outdoors person.”

“Of course I know that, but I also know you’re not a Winter person. You’re one of the few idiots I know who thinks roasting alive would be better than being out in this.”

“And what?” Seungmin gives Jeongin a playful shove while they tread onwards to the nearest ramen vendor, earning a half-hearted punch on the arm. “You find losing feeling in your body to be a pleasant experience?” 

“Rather that than sweating my guts out. Overheating feels like being sick but without the sickness part, so it’s just plain uncomfortable.”

This argument is familiar to the two of them, it’s one they’ve had a thousand times over, but neither party has ever resorted to simply admitting that they have different preferences. There’s deep-rooted nostalgia twined into the conversation that Seungmin finds somewhat comforting; recollection of his childhood flittering to his mind, accompanied by _Oh God this Winter vs Summer argument has had the better of us for 10 years_. How did this argument never get old? Seungmin’s sure Jeongin’s revelling in the nostalgia as well, because in contrast to their fighting words, they’re both wearing smiles that can rival the sun. 

They argue themselves all the way across the grass and onto the tarmac, all the way to where they order their ramen and carry themselves back to the nearest bench. Once again, they eat quickly and quietly- but not before Jeongin offers to describe the food to Seungmin (which, by the way, is an offer Seungmin accepts with bubbling laughter). 

“Food by the river always tastes better… that was so good,” Jeongin groans, sinking in his seat as he finishes his ramen. “I don’t wanna move another inch.”

Even though the icy breeze is starting to pick up, sweeping Seungmin’s bangs into his eyes, he finds himself reluctantly agreeing. His food sits heavily at the bottom of his stomach, and his feet are starting to throb from all the mindless wandering. His shoes suddenly cling too tightly to his feet, causing him to silently beg to whatever’s listening that he doesn’t get any blisters. The only thing urging him back up is the shivers involuntarily wracking his body again, shaking against Jeongin’s side.

“Will you say no again if I say we should go somewhere indoors?” 

Seungmin’s hardly surprised Jeongin’s caught on to him avoiding going inside. His resolve to spend the day where Jeongin could really enjoy his last colours; outdoors, was finally beginning to crack under the pressure of the icicles digging into his skin. Each word shakes from his mouth as he forms a response, “Depends where you suggest.”

“How about an arcade?” Jeongin asks. “It doesn’t have too much of a physical toll, and plus, it’s really colourful.” 

So Jeongin _does_ have the gist of what Seungmin’s trying to do figured out. Seungmin leans against the younger, hand lazily resting on his shoulder as he peers over the river once more. “I suppose that sounds good,” he yields, fingers absently moving along the dark parka’s fabric. 

“Hey, don’t worry,” For once, Jeongin doesn’t shrug Seungmin’s hand away. “I think I’ll remember what Han River looked like today for a long time.”

Seungmin’s completely unable to contain his smile as he gathers himself to his feet, pulling Jeongin up with him. “Good. I hope you understand why I dragged you out here, now.”

“I do. Thank you,” Jeongin grabs Seungmin’s arm to lead him as they begin to journey, being the avid gamer who possesses knowledge on arcade whereabouts. “Now come on, you Summer heathen, let’s get you inside.” 

Not one complaint escapes Jeongin as Seungmin defeatedly presses himself against the younger, desperate for some sort of warmth. Not even a shove, no senseless whining or eye-rolling. It’s a miracle, Seungmin determines, although it’s possibly because the boy is too busy absorbing the details of everything around him, immersed in the colours of the street signs, the traffic lights, the window displays of every shop they pass. Good.

Normally, arcades aren’t Seungmin’s scene- they’re quite obnoxiously loud, bright, and (ironically) too colourful. Not too much for him to handle, but certainly not his preference, either. As they step inside, he finds it to be less invasive than he remembers, however. The machines stationed along the walls of the room don’t crowd his vision, the volume doesn’t drown out Jeongin’s voice the way Seungmin remembered it to. In fact, he finds himself quite happily walking around the room, but perhaps it’s more so due to his blood rushing back into his extremities as the heaters sink sun-kissed air into his skin. 

Black and white makes the arcade look way too drab for a place advertising entertainment. There’s a lot of contrast in the tones he sees, Seungmin notes, dark greys paired with pale in attempt to be more friendly to those without colours. The dark carpet under his feet is flecked with white and mid-grey, shaded arcade machines sporting spiky designs everywhere he glances. For the amount he appreciates the effort in assuring everything doesn’t blend into one tone, he admits to himself that the striking contrast appears a little too haunted for his liking. He’s not sure if he prefers the horror-game black and white, or the eye-burning sensory overload of colour. 

Jeongin’s looking around, too. Seungmin wonders if he’s thinking of the colours he’s seeing, trying to memorise them. Uncomfortably, a fleeting thought that the two of them are truly viewing polar opposites right now drifts to mind, making him stand oddly isolated in his lack of colour. That is until Jeongin whirls around to face him, finished with scanning everything, contagious smile fixed on his face. 

Just like that, Seungmin forgets. 

Loneliness doesn’t have much chance to grasp him when Yang Jeongin’s here. 

So the two of them start to play, first off with a racing game that Seungmin knew he never had a chance on (Jeongin’s had way too much practice on this one) but Seungmin easily evens the score in air hockey. Even though Jeongin’s got an edge on the vast majority of the games, Seungmin can’t deny to himself that he’s genuinely enjoying it all. As for Jeongin? Well, Jeongin’s always been a fan of arcades, but the smile on his face today somehow feels different. It means more. 

Hours get spilled into the arcade, Seungmin weeps only slightly for his bank as the time here has been priceless. He's not sure he can stand to look at another screen, though, and lightly suggests to Jeongin they leave.

“One more thing,” Jeongin insists firmly. “I promise this is the last one.”

“One more thing,” Agrees Seungmin. “But my arms are aching, so I’ll lose quickly.” 

“It’s not your arms you have to worry about,” The sly smirk making its home on Jeongin’s face causes Seungmin to immediately regret agreeing. There’s a playful glint in his eyes. Maybe Seungmin just made a terrible mistake. 

That’s how Seungmin ended up being dragged to a DDR machine, the tiles on the floor like a checkerboard with four arrows flashing different greys, strange electric music pumping from the speakers on either side of the square screen.

“I change my mind,” He says flatly, attempting to turn around. Jeongin, of course, leaps into his path.

“Nope! You said one more thing! And this is it!” Jeongin grips his wrist to force him to face the dreadful machine. “Come on, it won’t be that bad!”

A sigh emits from the depths of Seungmin’s throat as he dramatically pinches the bridge of his nose. “Why, of all things, why this?”

“I never get to play it,” Jeongin pouts. Seungmin makes a point of avoiding eye contact, not wanting to see those puppy eyes that Jeongin is almost certainly pulling. “Every time I come here, the others either don’t want to play, or I’m with Minho and that’s just plain unfair.” 

With that, Seungmin knows he’s doomed. He knows there’s no scenario where he gets out of this haunted arcade without making a fool of himself with Jeongin. So he sighs, against his better judgement uttering out “Fine.”

Jeongin’s face lights up to match the glow of the screens in front of them, and they step onto the tiles, rolling up their sleeves.

Working out a sweat was definitely not what Seungmin had been expecting from the arcade. Here he is, however, grappling onto metal bars to jump about, supporting his weight with weakened arms. His glasses are bouncing erratically, slamming on the bridge of his nose in a way he’s sure will leave a mark. By the end of the day, his whole body is going to be aching, and there’s a chance he might catch a cold, but god if he isn’t having fun. Heavy bass music pumps out to a drum-beat, his legs flying to match each note as Jeongin had stupidly insisted on hard-mode. More than half the notes are being missed, by the halfway point of the song Seungmin’s struggling to will his legs to keep moving. 

He steals a glance at Jeongin while tapping random tiles himself, legs stinging in agony in a plea for him to stop. Jeongin’s eyes are trained on the screen, his tongue has slipped out of his mouth in his focus. Beads of sweat mist his forehead as he shoves all his energy into his movements, frantically trying to capture the tempo with his taps. Honestly, it’s more fun to just watch Jeongin, but Seungmin keeps moving in fear that Jeongin will make them play again because he didn’t try hard enough. There’s no doubt Jeongin will win, Seungmin’s pace has slowed painfully, the screen blaring the word ‘MISS’ in bold letters at an almost constant rate. 

Eventually, the bass fizzles out, the music fading so all Seungmin can hear is the rapid pumping of his own heart alongside Jeongin huffing next to him. Obviously, the scores show that Jeongin’s score beats Seungmin’s by a landslide, but the younger boy is completely tired out, doubled over and and unable to bring himself to look up at the screen. Seungmin taps him lightly, offering his arm as a support, though the younger doesn’t move from his stance.

“Hey-” Seungmin hadn’t noticed how breathless he was until he tried to speak, air winded from his lungs. It takes a moment to recover, the machine decisively switching to the home screen so Jeongin could never get the chance to see the scores for himself. Seungmin clears his throat and tries again. “Hey, you won.”

Finally, Jeongin lifts his head. Blotchy dark stains patch over his cheeks (Seungmin’s sure they’re red), sweat spiking his hair to stick to his forehead, but his smile reaches his sparkling eyes as he wheezes out a reply. “As expected.” 

“Yeah, okay, whatever, but _please_ tell me you don’t want to play again.” 

“No way, I’m done. My legs will fall off if we go again,” Jeongin laughs hoarsely as Seungmin exhales in shaky relief. “But it was fun.”

“It was,” Seungmin nods. They dip their heads to the lady at the front counter as they leave, muttering thanks. Her expression watching them allows Seungmin to become acutely aware of how frazzled they look. Jeongin’s hair is sticking up at the back with his bangs glued to his forehead, and the heated blush is still spattered over his face. Seungmin’s sure he’s no better, the two of them are hunched as they slink out of the arcade, still panting slightly as their chests heave. 

“Where will we go now?” Asks Jeongin, and Seungmin’s not entirely certain of the answer. He rolls his sleeves back down, balling his hands back into his pockets in retaliation against the cold swirling around them again. Regardless of his dislike of the cold, the air is refreshing, soothing his flaming cheeks from the arcade’s stuffiness. 

“Uh… first, can we sit?” 

“Please,” Jeongin groans as though he’s never heard a better idea. Luckily, the streets of Seoul home plenty of benches, so it hardly takes two minutes for Seungmin to spot one on the sidewalk. Jeongin sinks onto the bench with a sigh of pleasure. Seungmin takes out his phone. It’s already 5 pm. _They must be close to finishing. Jeongin and I don’t have anywhere else to go. _

“I’m going to text my Mum again,” Seungmin announces, Jeongin grunting in acknowledgement and leaning back against the wooden bars.

**JEONGIN BIRTHDAY GANG GANG (7 members)**

**the Planner (KSM):**

uhh guys????

hello???

update?? anyone???

**the Prince (HHJ):**

OH MY GOD

I KNEW I WAS FORGETTING SOMETHING

SEUNGMINNIE . I AM SO SORRY

**the Dark (SCB): **

??? i overheard chan telling you to text like an hour ago omg hyunjin

**the Vampire (BC):**

AND YOU DIDN’T THINK TO CHECK IN YOURSELF, SEO CHANGBIN??

**the Planner (KSM):**

please dont tell me youve been finished

and NONE of you thought to check in

**the Vampire (BC):**

SOME OF US HAVE BEEN PREOCCUPIED

**the Memer (LF):**

its done but chan is a perfectionist :(

so we’re still making adjustments

**the Prince (HHJ):**

YEAH BUT ITS NOT MY FAULT THAT MINHO AND JISUNG DISTRACTED ME

**the Vampire (BC):**

lix has been helping me finish up!

the other idiots… well…

**the Gem (LMH):**

mariokart is IMPORTANT

**the Squirrel (HJS):**

changbin wasnt even playing with us? 

and he wasnt helping you? 

so he couldve done it

**the Planner (KSM): **

oh my god 

you all suck

**the Dark (SCB):**

no one told me ANYTHING!! HOW COULD I KNOW

**the Vampire (BC):**

you said you heard me…

**the Dark (SCB):**

…

**the Planner (KSM): **

LOOK nevermind that

but since you’re done can innie and i come in now

we’re both kinda tired

scratch that i think innie’s gonna take a nap on this bench

**the Prince (HHJ):**

omg what did you guys do today??

**the Planner (KSM):**

we’ll tell you when we’re there

_@the Vampire _would it be too much trouble to come get us?

my legs are killing me and i think innie too

please chan :( i love you chan :(

**the Vampire (BC):**

sure i can get you! where are you guys 

**the Planner (KSM):**

[ SHARED : LOCATION ] 

near that one arcade

**the Vampire (BC): **

gotcha! on my way

—

Pocketing his phone, Seungmin prods Jeongin. “You asleep?”

“No,” Jeongin mumbles, but he doesn’t open his eyes. 

“Well,” Seungmin kicks back, lolling his head against the bench with a dull crack of his neck and flinching at the cool touch of the wood. “We can go back to your house now.” 

On the edge of the horizon, the sun is beginning to hide itself, the light that weaves between towering buildings slowly dimming and making way for a frosty chill to swell in the air. Definitely not what Seungmin wants to stick around in, as he’s already starting to shudder.

“Mmmmm,” Jeongin’s eyes flutter open. “I really don’t wanna walk anymore… but I guess we have to get back somehow.”

“Don’t worry,” Seungmin assures him without a second thought. “Chan is going to pick us u-”

“Chan?” Jeongin swivels out of his comfortable position to look at Seungmin, confusion clouding his eyes as he confronts the other. “I thought he was busy practising for the swim relay?” 

“O-oh, uh,” Seungmin stutters, sheepish as he drops his gaze to the pavement and pushes his glasses up. “He finished, so he said he can spare some time to come and grab us,” Jeongin melts back again, satisfied with the explanation. “Unless you want to walk, Innie?” Seungmin adds, tone alight with challenge.

“I’m not moving,” Jeongin states decisively, Seungmin grating out a chuckle. 

“Yeah. We can wait here.”

Seungmin watches as the sunlight drains from the atmosphere, the dust that sparkles in the light vanishing into the shadows once more. There’s probably a stunning, colourful sunset if the telltale streaks along the normally consistent grey sky are anything to go off. He wishes he could see it now, even though he’d seen it in colour before. He’ll never get the chance to see _today’s_ sunset. He nudges Jeongin, who complains childishly at the touch. 

“Innie, look. Look at the sky.”

Jeongin cracks open his eyes grudgingly, but they widen almost immediately. “Oh,” He breathes. “It’s amazing.”

“Tell me,” Seungmin says. He’s not even looking at the sunset, he’s looking at Jeongin, looking at the reflection of the sunset in his eyes. 

“Cliché, but it’s really like a painting. There’s orange higher up in the sky, but it gradients into peachy pink, and the clouds are glowing with that pink colour. Like someone took a bright pink highlighter and carefully outlined them to make them pop. It’s so- it’s really-” Jeongin gestures with his hands for a moment, before letting out a resigned sigh. “I’ll miss it. Don’t you miss it?”

“Of course I do,” Jeongin’s stare is redirected to Seungmin before Seungmin can remember to look away. “But I know I’ll see it again.”

“What’s it like?” Jeongin asks. Seungmin crumples. _What’s it like?_ It’s dull, it’s awful, it’s not what a sunset should be, but he can’t tell that to Jeongin. Jeongin looks away from Seungmin in a flash, as though Seungmin’s expression had burned him. An instinctive apology surges up his throat, Seungmin clamping his jaw shut around it. He knows Jeongin doesn't want an apology, he knows he's made Jeongin feel guilty for asking. He knows how he can fix it, he knows how he can preserve the mood.

Seungmin has to try.

“It’s… grey. The clouds are still illuminated, as you said, but they’re against a pale grey background. The tones are hard to differentiate, if you weren’t looking properly, you probably couldn’t even see the clouds. Where you said the orange was, is darker grey. A gradient of grey.”

“It’s a grey-dient,” Jeongin comments, earning an instant shove from Seungmin. 

“I hate you. You’re the worst.”

“You’re smiling, you liked it,” Jeongin sing-songs, though his face falls back into seriousness quickly. “I wish you could see it like me, though.”

“I will,” Seungmin comforts, gently reaching around to pat Jeongin’s shoulder. “And you’ll see it like this again, too- don’t think of this as the last time you’ll ever see a sunset.”

Jeongin doesn’t respond, but he doesn’t need to. He’s busying himself soaking in the last of the sunset as the colours drain into darkness. Every time Seungmin tries to pay attention to the sunset himself, he finds his eyes dragging themselves back to Jeongin. How can he justify that? Well, he’s seen the grey sunset enough to know how it goes- grey bleeds into dark grey, dark grey melts into black. He doesn’t need to see it like that again, so why not observe Jeongin, who’s seeing it in full colour? For some reason, Seungmin’s anxious watching, as though he alone is responsible for the colours that blaze across the sky and how Jeongin sees them. 

As the sky becomes empty of light, Jeongin’s lids are half-closed over his eyes. Seungmin’s seen this a thousand times over. More often then not, when Jeongin’s tired, he’ll keep himself active until his drowsy eyes give in to sleep. Like watching videos on his phone, or reading a book. His movements slow, and his eyes close, and that’s that. It’s always been a funny habit of his for as long as Seungmin can remember, but whenever any of he or any of their friends call Jeongin out, he’s adamant in denying that it ever happens. Yet, here he is, eyes closing without being able to do anything to stop it.

At some point, he falls against Seungmin’s shoulder, and Seungmin breathes out a trembling cloud into the ever-darkening air. He’s only stiff because he’s tired. He’s only shaking because of the cold. At least, that’s what Seungmin tells himself. 

He stares out into the street, until eventually, some familiar headlights come into view, the distinctive ghost-white hair of the driver confirming that their ride has arrived. Chan’s car swerves alongside the bench, and the man at the wheel gives a friendly wave. Softly, Seungmin shakes Jeongin’s arm, the younger grumbling but eventually opening his eyes and lifting his head. There’s a rush of cold air on Seungmin’s shoulder where Jeongin’s head used to be, the warmth gone. Oddly, Seungmin misses the weight, even if his shoulder is feeling slightly rigid.

The two approach the car, Jeongin stumbling to his feet and Seungmin steadying him before dragging him into the back with him. They clip their seatbelts as Chan turns in his seat, guilt creasing his expression. 

“Sorry for taking so long, got really caught up, you know, with things.” 

“It’s fine,” Seungmin dismisses, and they’re off. 

On the drive back, Chan attempts some conversation by asking how their day was. All he receives is “Good,” from Seungmin, and nothing from Jeongin who’s dozing off again, lulled by the movement of the car against the smooth road. Since the conversation is effectively ended, the vehicle sinks into quiet with nothing but the whirr of the road under their tires filling the air. 

Momentarily Jeongin leans against the window, but the vibrating against his head sends him back Seungmin’s way. Seungmin pins his vision out of the window, averting his eyes from Jeongin to avoid flustering and instead choosing to focus on the street lights blazing past. Countless times in the past, whether on the school bus or when they’re hanging out at either’s house, Jeongin has fallen asleep against him, and it’s never been a big deal at all- that’s just how it’s always been. 

It’s easy to recall the first time it happened- they were both in primary school, the day had been a sticky Summer athletics day filled with running loops and jumping. Now, Seungmin had decent stamina, he’d been a baseball player from the beginning of his schooling (although he did tend to avoid fielding and batting as much as he could in favour of pitching). On the other hand was Jeongin, who’d never found success with a single sport and thus never bothered participating unless he absolutely had to. So, in other words, no stamina. He’d been intending on worming his way out of the compulsory athletics day, but with the efforts of Seungmin, and his parents calling his bluff on his ‘sickness’, ended up going. Needless to say, not a single event was won by the younger, nothing even close, but he'd managed to enjoy himself as Seungmin stuck to his side and messed around with him to distract from the pressures of winning. By the end of the day, the younger was undoubtedly exhausted and had slumped against Seungmin as they sat under the shade of a tree, waiting to be picked up. Seungmin hardly had a problem with it at the time, more amused than anything as he gently adjusted the younger into a more comfortable position. After that day, it became normality.

Seungmin’s not sure why it’s different now. Maybe it’s just the nerves. 

They pull into the driveway, Seungmin thanking Chan for the lift before rousing Jeongin. Chan tips his head, climbing out of the front to open the back door for the pair. To steady Jeongin, Seungmin offers his hand, helping him from the car as they step back into the chilling cold. Seungmin moves hastily towards the front door, with purpose, despising how his fingers are already numbing in the hand Jeongin isn’t holding. 

The lights are on in the house- he can see the windows on either side of the door are illuminated, no-one having bothered drawing the curtains closed quite yet. Fortunately, the rest of their friends who Seungmin knows are inside aren’t visible in the light (though it’s not like Jeongin’s looking, he’s blindly moving under Seungmin’s lead in a half-asleep haze). He follows Chan inside, ensuring Jeongin’s inside before shutting the door behind them. They walk down the hallway, the end marked by a ‘Happy Birthday’ banner that Seungmin had bought about a week ago at the top of the doorway. 

Jeongin’s more awake now because he snorts when he sees the banner, aiming a question to Chan of where he bought that. The older boy smiles, shakes his head and opens the door for Seungmin and Jeongin to approach. 

Then he sees it.

Once Seungmin’s all turned around, there it all is. There’s everything. Even though all he can see is black and white, it’s _there._

The house is embellished with an array of colourful decor, photos of the friends enriched by frames decorated by the very people captured in the images. Sticky notes of various colours with small doodles or thoughts from the friends accompany the photography, which is all so very distinctly Seungmin’s. And that’s not everything. There are streamers carefully placed in stripes next to each other along the walls, leading the eye to each photo and note like a timeline. Along the ceiling is a line of balloons, and Seungmin’s sure the colours have been arranged specifically because the greys seem to occur in a repeating pattern. Seungmin hates to think it, but he’s miserably underwhelmed by his own vision, the spectacle not carrying the impact it probably does when boasting the full colour spectrum.

On the other hand, Jeongin’s in awe, and that’s all the affirmation Seungmin needs. His mouth is stretched open in a soundless exclamation, eyes flickering across everything in the room. He’s too engrossed in looking to take note of Chan lightly ushering them further in. 

Words seem to escape him, he’s attempting to push something out and choking each time. Watching him struggle to place his thoughts cohesively is making Seungmin squirm with anxiety and anticipation, he wishes there was something he could do to assist the younger. Finally, something hurtles from Jeongin's mouth. “Y-you-”

He’s cut off immediately by a chorus of “Surprise!”, as several people leap from behind the couches. Jeongin yelps, jerking back in shock, but Seungmin and Chan are there to restore his balance. 

“Don’t _do _that!” He half-cries, half-yells, collapsing to his knees once he’s wriggled from Seungmin and Chan’s hold. “What are you _doing?!” _

“Aren’t you happy to see us?” Pouts Changbin. The boys that have now gathered in the centre of the room are all dressed differently to how they had been in the morning, Seungmin mentally thanking them for taking his request to wear some colour seriously (at least, he assumes, since he can’t really tell). 

“I’d be happier if you didn’t give me a heart attack,” Jeongin shoots back bitterly. 

“Usually you don’t flinch,” Remarks Hyunjin, though his smile is warm. 

“I just woke up,” Jeongin defends himself, “Give me a break.” 

There’s a heartbeat or two where there’s nothing- no one says anything, the group stare at Jeongin and he stares back while Seungmin starts running over a list of possible faults that caused his idea to fail. Jeongin breaks it, however, Seungmin thanking the lucky stars in the sky. 

“Thank you, guys. This is incredible, really,” He says sheepishly, his words met with several smiles and Seungmin releasing a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. 

Finally, they all begin to make their places getting comfortable on the couches, Seungmin pointedly sitting next to Jeongin to ensure he doesn’t miss a single reaction from the youngest. After all, this entire event was organised by him, and he’s going to see it through to be _perfect._

“You really should give most of the credit to Seungminnie,” Hyunjin pipes up from where he lazes over Changbin and Felix’s laps. “Everything was his idea!”

Before Seungmin can protest, Jisung adds in, “It’s true, we just all acted in accordance with his plans.” 

Jeongin blinks at Seungmin. “You… did this?” Oh, god. Seungmin didn’t pay attention to the tone of his voice, and can’t tell if Jeongin means the question in a positive way or not. Is it accusatory? What if he hates everything? Seungmin swallows hard, deciding it better to own up to what he’s done. If he hates it, he hates it. 

“Yeah.”

“But… how?”

A ramble leaves Seungmin’s lips before he can stop himself. “I had thought it was a good idea at the time, so I picked out my favourite photos I’ve taken, you know, since you model for me the most, and the idea snowballed from there. Hyunjin helped me colour spot when editing and I decided to take it further, I don’t know, maybe I took it a little too far? I thought I could make something special, something memorable. I don’t know. I just wanted to-”

“Shut up,” Jeongin slaps Seungmin’s shoulder to jar him out of his speech. “It’s amazing.” 

Seungmin shakes his head at him in spite of the stern stare the younger is burning into him. There’s no way Jeongin doesn’t think this is too over the top, really, Seungmin went way overboard, and-

Chan crashes into his thought train abruptly, and Seungmin wonders for the second time that day if it’s obvious when he’s spiralling. “Seungmin, you’d know for sure if Jeongin didn’t like it. He’d tell you.”

There are snorts of agreement. “It’s true,” Says Jisung with a cackle. “Innie is the bluntest person any of us know. You know that most of all, Seungmin, seriously.” 

Realistically, Seungmin knows that they’re all right. Jeongin’s bluntness goes unrivalled- no one speaks their mind like the youngest. Each and every person in this room has had flaws picked out blatantly by the boy- for such a sweet, innocent face, the hidden mean streak never ceases to come as a surprise to those who first encounter it. Even so, there’s a nagging feeling at the pit of Seungmin’s stomach; uncertainty, concern. After all, it’s been an odd day. 

Jeongin nudges him gently. “You know they’re right, Seungmin. I do love everything- don't look at me like that, I mean it, for real! I can’t believe you all did this for me.”

There’s no chance for Seungmin to form a response, as the lights in the room turn off abruptly, erupting squeaks of surprise from the boys on the couches. From the left of the room, a faint orange (grey, but Seungmin’s sure the others are seeing orange) glow is visible, and that’s when Seungmin figures out what happened.

Enter Lee Minho, carefully holding a cake and quietly beginning to sing, only turning up his own voice when others come to join it. Seungmin hadn’t even noticed Minho leave, admittedly too caught up in his worry. At this moment, with everyone singing a horrid rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’, it feels so natural that Seungmin wonders why he’d felt so worried, relaxing his tense shoulders. Jeongin buries his face in his hands in embarrassment as Minho approaches, Seungmin leaning towards him to sing directly in his ear and make him flinch. _This_ is more like normal. 

Minho settles the cake down on the coffee table in front of Jeongin, rushing back to station himself by the light switch. As the singing dies, Jeongin’s eyes flutter closed, the group silent as he makes a wish. There are only five candles on the cake, they’re tall enough to reach Jeongin without him having to lean down too much in spite of how low the coffee table is. He blows softly to no effect, causing his friends to burst out into cheers of “fighting!” and “don’t hurt your lungs!”. Seungmin can tell he’s being cautious, because his retainer makes him spit unintentionally, and if he did that on the cake he’d never hear the end of it. Eventually, after laughter and offers of help, the candles go out, Minho hastily flicking the switch once they’re drenched in darkness. 

The first thing Jeongin says in the light is, “Thanks for not letting Changbin carry the cake.”

“Are you _serious?!_ It was _once, _and I would _never_ let that happen to your cake, Innie, what do you take me for?!” Changbin huffs loudly, standing on the couch to make himself taller before being pulled back down by Hyunjin. 

The second thing Jeongin says is, “This cake is so cute… I don’t even wanna eat it… it’s perfect.”

The cake is Seungmin’s pride. It was yesterday when he’d custom ordered it. The morning had been spent sitting cross-legged by an open window, sunlight filtering onto his notebook as he scribbled ideas into a neat list. Fresh air always helped Seungmin think, clearing his head as he took note of which of his ideas wouldn’t work on a cake, the sun illuminating his notepad and pointing out which designs were too ambitious so he could cross them out. Eventually, he ended up with something that he thought would make Jeongin smile- but like how he does when he’s genuinely delighted to see something, smile so wide that his eyes close.

Even though the design was simple, it was effective, and even in black-and-white Seungmin had loved it from the moment it’d been delivered to his door, just as the sun was going down and he’d been growing worried that it wouldn’t come. It was decorated in the shape of a fox curled up, asleep, the candles lined on the curve of it’s tail. A striped fondant scarf wraps around the fox’s neck and flops down it’s back, festive of the Winter season. Seungmin hopes that the stripes are red and yellow as he’d asked since Jeongin is a proud Gryffindor. 

“That was entirely Seungmin!” Hyunjin announces, turning the spotlight back on him. Seungmin shrinks in on himself. 

“You even gave it a Gryffindor scarf! Or was that coincidence?” 

“It was custom ordered,” Seungmin mumbles hotly, casting his gaze aside only to be shocked by Jeongin initiating a hug- an act rarely seen so much as felt.

“It’s amazing,” The younger says into his shoulder while Seungmin debates whether he should stay still or pat him on the back. “Thank you.” 

When he lets go, avoiding eye contact as though humiliated by his actions, it’s agreed amongst them all that they don’t want to eat the cake (not yet, anyway). They ask Jeongin what he wants for dinner, and thanks to the decisiveness of the youngest it’s quickly answered with kalguksu that they order to be delivered to them.

While they wait for the food to arrive, Jeongin goes around the room, analysing each photo and reading each note that the friends had written to him. Occasionally, he laughs, in that way Seungmin’s all too familiar with where he sounds so breathless as his inhales sound as wheezes. Seungmin’s nerves ease as Jeongin’s smile continues to impossibly grow as he wanders across it all. Jeongin seems to lose himself staring every now and then, recounting the memories that hide behind each still image. Seungmin had done the same thing himself when editing them, Hyunjin and himself exchanging their tales from the photos as they worked. Once Jeongin had traced the last photograph, he surprisingly launched himself into hugs for every person in the room, sentimentality getting the better of the usually touch-aversive boy. 

“Our youngest has gone soft!” Changbin coos at his turn, refusing to let the wriggling boy in question go, savouring the hug. For once, no-one stops Changbin’s antics, there’s an element of respect for his attempt at making the moment last. No matter how much Jeongin squirms, he can't seem to escape- Changbin may be comically short, but the muscle on his arms is unquestionable. 

“I’m going to bite your arm,” Jeongin deadpans, triggering a snappish release.

The kalguksu arrives with a side of fresh kimchi, much to Jeongin’s delight, and the group eats eagerly as though they hadn’t eaten all day. As per usual, Seungmin’s the snail of the group and the last to finish, resulting in his food being snatched off his plate by several of the vulturous boys as he eats. Eventually, Jeongin wards them off by batting their hands away from Seungmin’s bowl, much to Seungmin’s surprise, claiming “he needs to re-energise after a crushing defeat”. Jeongin distracts the greedy bunch by using it as a segue into retelling what the pair had done that day. No-more food gets stolen when Jeongin talks, leaving Seungmin to finish his meal with the occasional donation of details to supplement Jeongin’s enthusiastic description of the day. 

“It’s a miracle you guys aren’t tuckered out already,” Muses Chan as the story wraps up.

“Yeah, it’s already Seungminnie’s bedtime!” Hyunjin quips cheekily, although Seungmin can hardly form a rebuttal against his words. He’s not at all ashamed of how early he goes to bed- he can go to bed around 10 to 10:30 pretty regularly, and he’s damn proud of it. His friends, however… God help them all. 

Jeongin usually sleeps early, but sometimes gets caught up in the latest video game or whatever he’d been doing before bed. Even so, no matter what he’s almost always the first of them to rise in the morning (when they all get greeted by an obnoxious text of “FIRST” in the group chat, followed by something along the lines of “lazy asses”). Felix? Felix has the most impressive triple-monitor PC setup Seungmin has ever seen, and a Nintendo Switch- that should tell you all you need to know. As for the rest of them, well, they’re all workaholics that’ll stay up till dawn (or longer) to get their work done. So, even though they all tease him, he knows they all hold some respect and jealousy towards his schedule. But Hyunjin, right now, is definitely pushing it. 

“It’s only 9:30, you asshole!” Seungmin rumbles, though there’s no real bite, with a playful shove of the older. 

“You say that like we’ve never seen you passed out at 9:30 before,” Calls Minho from the fortress of pillows he’s absentmindedly built on the couch. 

Shoot. Seungmin’s caught. 

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” He mutters a weak retort. Minho flings a pillow at him and misses.

“They’re only pointing it out because they admire you,” Chan nods toward him, clearing dishes from the table with Hyunjin’s help. “Right, why don’t you cut into the fox, Innie, and Changbin can do the dishes?” 

Oh, Jeongin hadn’t said a single thing during the conversation. Seungmin hurriedly searches for the younger, only to see him standing by the wall again, running his fingers over the streamers as he looks into the photographs. Seungmin softens as he watches the younger snap out of his trance, turning to Chan who’s passing by with a stack of dirty bowls in hand. 

“What was that?”

“Ah, just wondering if you wanna cut the cake. And if you want Changbin to do the dishes.”

Jeongin smirks, Changbin going unaware of the arrangements being assembled as he’s absorbed in conversation with Felix and Jisung. “I’d say yes to both things, even though I don’t really want to cut the cake.” 

“Well, feel free to pass the news to Changbin,” Smiles Chan before slinking into the kitchen, Hyunjin in tow with the remainder of the dishes. 

A set of new plates and forks are on the table, Seungmin not having seen who put them there in his distraction. Jeongin sinks back into his place beside him, brushing his hair from his eyes to stare down the cake.

“I don’t want to cut it,” Jeongin says mournfully. “Look at it!” 

“I spent good money on this,” Seungmin counters, although he is undeniably pleased by Jeongin’s turmoil. It’s all the evidence he needs that he chose well. “You’d better not let it go off.” 

“Fair. I’ll get a photo first!” There’s a shutter sound, accompanied by melancholy afterthought. “Though the cake won’t look as good without colour. And the photo won’t either.” 

Seungmin laughs shakily. “It looks pretty good in black and white, actually-”

Jeongin’s eyes grow wide as he realises who he was talking to- of course, the only one in the room without colour. “Oh, no, Seungmin, I didn’t mean that, I mean, I’m sorry-”

“Don’t stress it, Innie,” Seungmin’s surprised to find his smile is genuine, and that he honestly doesn’t mind. Truly. “I seriously don’t care.” 

The cake gets sliced neatly, not without distressed yells of “murder!” as the cute little fox is dissected, although those yells are swiftly silenced and replaced with satisfied chewing. Vanilla flavour fills Seungmin’s cheeks, and he can’t even complain about the plainness of vanilla because it’s just so _rich- _not overly sweet, but perfectly moist, and enough to make himself praise his order even more, alongside the approval he gathers from everyone else. 

Changbin complains noisily about being chosen for the dishes, so they offer him a game of paper-scissors-rock to make it fair. Yet, somehow, to Changbin’s dismay and the delight of the others, he ends up losing with his scissors, fated to be anchored to the sink for the next half-an-hour. Only Chan gives a helping hand with drying out of guilt, the rest of them not even so much as tossing a glance his way. 

To fill time, they watch a movie, choosing an animated movie brimming with colour just for Jeongin, and honestly? Even without the colour, Seungmin loves it. Over time the boys tend to curl into each other, seeking warmth as the deepening night summons a tide of cold, pressing against one another. Clung to Seungmin’s arm, is Jeongin, face squashed against his side as he stares at the screen. He wonders if Jeongin crept closer because of how he’d shivered earlier. Either way, it’s nice. This is nice. Lack of colour can’t take away from it any more, because here, right now, surrounded by everything he cares for most, is perfect. He doesn’t need colour for it to be perfect.

Soon, the movie finishes. It’s growing late for sure, the chatter that usually rattles the group nowhere to be found. For Seungmin, it’s undoubtedly later than he’d like to find himself awake, but he needs to be awake for 12 am- after all, that’s what they’re all here for. It’s less a ‘happy birthday Jeongin!’ party they’re preparing for, and more a ‘farewell to Jeongin’s colour vision’ party. Kind of dismal, sure, but Seungmin wouldn’t have minded one himself. The others had shared his point of view on that. No matter what, they were going to lighten the heaviness of the transition for their youngest.

“Time is passing slower on purpose,” Jeongin complains, staring into the numbers on his phone. His nerves are causing his leg to bounce, the young boy being a beacon of restless energy in the quiet room.

“Maybe it’s a good thing,” Seungmin points out. “You have more time with your colour, that way.”

“But I only have _two minutes!” _He exclaims.

“Then use it!” Bites Minho from the other couch. “We didn’t spend all this time putting up this stuff for you not to get it tattooed into your eyeballs!” 

“Right,” Jeongin scrambles to his feet, his anxiety palpable. Seungmin’s own heart pumps faster watching him stare into the walls, the white-knuckled grip on his phone as he continues to spare glimpses at the time looking almost painful. “One minute,” he whispers, more to himself than anyone else. 

The clock ticks over.

Jeongin spins around on his heels to face his older friends, who all wear matching faces of uncertainty, awaiting his word. “It’s supposed to start at 12, right? Right, guys?”

Silent nodding of heads.

“It hasn’t started yet… maybe my clock is just a bit off,” Jeongin mutters. “By a couple of minutes, maybe. I don’t know.”

“My clock does say 11:59,” Says Jisung.

“Mine says 12:01,” Hyunjin blinks. 

“It’ll be fine,” Chan reassures. “Right, Seungmin?” 

But Seungmin was hardly listening. He was a world away, watching colours bursting with life bleed into his vision in pure awe, his mouth hanging open in a mute scream of shock. The streamers along the wall burst into coloured stripes of blue, pink, yellow, the colours he hadn’t seen in so long. His photos! His photos, the ones he’d taken in colour, are the same as they’d been when he was there. It’s not him in a black and white photo, alienated from a vibrant memory, not anymore. Wordlessly, he gets up, staring at the photos, eyes waltzing from his memories to the rainbow lines of balloons on the ceiling, a spectrum of full reds to purples blooming in front of his eyes. 

“Seungmin!” An exclamation breaks into his stupor, but he doesn’t feel any less cloudy when he searches for the owner of the voice that called him. 

It’s Jeongin. 

His eyes meet Jeongin’s, but only for a split second before they’re attracted to something brighter, something alive with vivid colour. His _hair. _The colour is familiar, yet new. Red. Seungmin had had the same colour himself, but no, it's not like that on Jeongin. It's like a polished apple, it's perfect with Jeongin's shining smile and dimpled cheeks. It's not at all the raven black hair he'd had in all the years worth of Seungmin's coloured memories, not the hair Seungmin thought he'd see again, but that's not a bad thing. It's incredible. 

“Jeongin- you- your _hair,”_ Seungmin sounds exasperated like he’s seen a ghost, but truly it’s wonder, mixed with shock and amazement and _everything _fighting against himself to comprehend what’s happening.

“Y-yeah-” Jeongin’s voice is sheepish, baring the nerves that had had time to fester. “I really, really liked your red hair, you know. I wanted to try it, and if it looked good then it could be a surprise for when your colours came back- but- I- I didn’t think- I didn’t-” he cuts himself off and averts his gaze to the floor.

Seungmin, on the other hand, is only vaguely aware of his friends around him slowly noticing the moment the two of them were sharing, his saucer eyes still set on Jeongin and his unbelievably bright, amazing, blazingly red _coloured_ hair. _Colour!_ The focus he has on thirstily drinking in the beautiful vibrancy of the colour blocks his common sense, and it takes a shake on the shoulder from Chan to bring him back to reality.

“Hey, Seungmin, you okay?” 

“I-” He pales immediately, the realisation bashing through his brain with the urgency of a bat through a pinãta. When he jerks back to Jeongin, he sees the younger still fixated on the ground as Hyunjin speaks to him gently, and Seungmin’s mouth forms an ‘o’. 

He swallows back the dryness in his throat that suddenly makes words so much harder to get out, and tries to say something, _anything._

“J-Jeongin,” 

The younger looks up, his eyes glittering with something that Seungmin can’t read for once, and it terrifies him, not knowing what Jeongin’s thinking. It’s only the two of them now. Seungmin doesn’t look to his other friends, doesn’t care that they’re all spectating in their confused, resigned silence. Seungmin’s in his own reverie and as far as he’s concerned, Jeongin is the only one there with him.

Jeongin speaks again, but his voice is smaller than Seungmin’s ever heard before. “Yeah?”

Then Seungmin does something unexpected. Something born from nerves, from how incredulous this whole thing is, how Seungmin; who was so intelligent, had never noticed the person right in front of him. 

Seungmin laughs. It’s a giggle at first, but then it evolves into a full-fledged bout. He’s forced to silence himself quickly when Jeongin, who’s merely wearing a small, anxious smile, doesn’t join in. 

“Jeongin, it’s _you!”_

Disbelief must’ve rung through Seungmin’s voice, because Jeongin’s smile breaks out of it’s guarded shell to laugh at him. “It’s you, too, Seungmin! I don’t know _either!” _

After that, the tide of silence washes in yet again. In a shard of their own world, the two are frozen. All they can do is stare, baffled, wondering how they never saw this coming. That is, until Seungmin blurts out something, that, had he been saner, he would’ve preferred to keep tucked away in his mind (at least for now). 

“I love it.”

“Wh-what?” Jeongin splutters, taken aback from how suddenly the spell of silence is broken. 

“Your _hair, _Jeongin, the red suits you so well! It’s so bright and fiery and _colourful _and it’s so _you- _it’s perfect.”

“I only got it because I liked how it looked on you so much and missed it when you decided to take it away.”

This is insane. Seungmin can hardly fathom what’s happening.

All around him, colours are spiralling, blending, all except for one. Red. Central to his vision is red, an anchor, something Seungmin’s trying to use to ground himself. But his legs are swaying involuntarily beneath him, whispering threats of buckling and leaving him to collapse on the floor. Why can’t he hear anyone? Why are his eyes stinging with colour? His head is light, and if he removes his grip on it, he’s sure it’ll make like a hot air balloon and float away. 

Everything begins to spin. It’s slow, at first, and he doesn’t mind until it ramps up, the room around him impossible to see as anything but a blur. If he's trying to capture this sensation, he’s certain he recognises it from somewhere- oh. That’s right. The spinning teacup ride from Lotte World. Yeah. It’s like that.

Seungmin shakes his head, dizzy with colour and _Jeongin? _and everything, closing his eyes.

“Careful Seungminnie—” Minho regretfully breaks the pair out of their bubble, stepping forward to place a hand on Seungmin’s back as a support. 

“What’s wrong?” Jeongin’s tone is laced with confusion, concern sewn into his words.

“It’s just the whole getting colours back after being adjusted to black and white thing can be disconcerting for some people,” Jisung explains tenderly. “Minho passed out when he got his colours back.”

“Really??”

Jisung smirks teasingly as Minho objects while gathering Seungmin into his arms. “Yep! He just went ‘Woah- Jisungie-’ then bonk! Nap time for Minho.”

“My colours were gone _longer_ than _2 years!” _Minho argues. “Can we shut up about this and help Seungmin out?”

“I’m okay,” Seungmin mutters, squinting to test the waters before screwing his eyes closed again. “It’s just a lot to look at…”

“You should rest,” Chan advises gently. “Some people take the switch back harder. You might feel sick if you force yourself to look at everything.”

“But Jeongin-”

“It’s okay, Seungmin,” A soft smile directed at the boy rests on Jeongin’s lips, even though Seungmin can’t see it. His voice is filled with some kind of emotion Seungmin can’t place, but it’s comforting. Like it’ll all turn out fine. “We’ll talk about everything when you feel better.”   


“This wasn’t how tonight was meant to go,” Seungmin whines, but Minho’s already started carting him to the nearest couch (before Jeongin redirects Minho to take Seungmin to his room). 

Jeongin walks alongside them, holding Seungmin’s other hand abashedly to lead him to his room. “It’s not how you’d planned the night, but I think it’s _better_. The way you saw it was that I’d see in black and white at 12, and then everyone would go home except for you and you’d spend some time talking to me to take my mind off it and we’d go to sleep. I like this better. _Much_ better.” There’s more that the younger isn’t saying, but Seungmin doesn’t have it in him to prod him right now. 

Somewhere during Jeongin’s monologue, Minho had silently slipped away from them, leaving Jeongin and Seungmin to continue alone. 

Somehow, Jeongin had hit the nail on the head. Seungmin’s mind is too clouded to begin to respond with full brainpower, so he settles for a nod. “You’re right.” 

“I know that you have me down to a T, but I know you just as well,” Jeongin hums, as he enters his room, kicking miscellaneous clothes aside as he walks to create a path. Usually, Seungmin would scold him for his whirlwind of a mess- today has been full of differences from the usual, however. “I’m gonna lay you down, alright?”

Seungmin snorts, a little less lightheaded as they’d stopped walking. “Don’t baby me, Innie. I’m not fatally ill, just dizzy. I can lie down,” But he winces as he opens his eyes, causing Jeongin to roll his own.

“Let me help you, dumbass,” he says, shoving Seungmin onto the mattress roughly. 

“Harsh.”

“Would you expect any different from me?”

“No,” Seungmin admits defeatedly, limply allowing Jeongin to pull blankets over him.

“Smart,” Jeongin sounds proud. His voice softens. “Rest. We’ll talk, I promise.”

The day has caught up with Seungmin, every single part of him sapped entirely of energy. From the stresses of organising the day, the constant walking and the dancing, to staying up later than usual, to _this. _Mentally and physically, he’s worn out, and the darkness is so enticing that he couldn’t refuse Jeongin’s orders if he wanted to. 

He slips into darkness, the distant sound of Jeongin’s mellow voice saying “Sleep well” and the feeling of his glasses being carefully taken from his nose sending him off. 

\--

The first thing Seungmin does when he wakes is blindly pat at the bedside table, his eyes still scrunched closed until he feels his glasses, slipping them on.

When he opens his eyes, all he can see for a moment is _purple._

It’s the purple of the hoodie he’s worn to death, the one he loves so dearly, his favourite colour. It’s _purple! _Seungmin squirms, unable to contain his excitement. It’s the same purple he wore to give himself good luck for exams, the same purple that padded him through Winter gusts as he took the two-hour commute to school. Purple that wafted through happy memories, like the first sleepover he had with all of his friends, like when he met Jeongin for the first time, bright purple against buildings of grey walls. In his photos, he was wearing that hoodie. In his memories, he wasn’t just black and white, but he was a beaming, lively purple. Purple that he hadn’t seen in so, _so _long. Tears are in his eyes before he can stop them because he missed this purple. It had always been his favourite. He can’t hear anything but blood pounding, his senses are dulled, nothing compared to the brilliant purple boring into his vision. 

All the memories of _purple _flooding to him had barred his mind of anything else- as he exits his trance, Seungmin finds that he doesn’t remember where he is- oh. That’s right. He’s in Jeongin’s room. But he’s certain that he didn’t put the hoodie there, splayed over him like a blanket that he must’ve subconsciously pulled up to his nose. 

He shifts the hoodie down, the sleeve of the hoodie flopping down from the movement. Hidden under that sleeve had been something. 

And now all Seungmin can see is _red._

It’s the same shade of red he saw for the first time last night, simultaneously familiar and new. Suddenly his mind is scrabbling too fast to collect all the memories, and it aches, but he doesn’t care, because he’s looking at the red _now_.

And he knows what it is.

He knows _who _it is.

It’s a head of dyed hair, and as Seungmin shuffles to his side he can see him properly. Jeongin. His lips stretch into a smile at the younger boy, peaceful beside him. The ringing in his ears from the rush of colour has died enough for him to hear the snoring that he’s so used to, yet for some reason, it’s so absurdly funny to him that his body shudders with the effort it takes to suppress laughter. 

_Of course, it’s Jeongin,_ he burrows towards the younger boy, relishing in his warmth. _Of course, it’s you. _

How, how, how? How had he never even considered this? Had the pair of them spent so long together that it’d never registered that they could be linked? Seungmin can’t assemble it to make sense, but that doesn’t matter. 

Jeongin lets out a mumble of protest at Seungmin’s movement, his eyes firmly shut. That’s when a chuckle inevitably escapes Seungmin. Jeongin’s eyes open slightly, and they meet Seungmin’s. He watches as they flicker from sleepiness to hazy confusion, to alarm, then finally to relaxation. 

“Hey, Seungmin.”

“Hey, Innie.” This is driving him crazy.

“You… don’t mind?”

_Don’t mind?_ The question catches Seungmin off guard, so he offers a look of concern, but Jeongin’s eyes are half-closed and he’s uncertain that the younger is thinking straight in his sleepy state. “Don’t mind what?”

“That it’s… me.”

_Ridiculous. _Just because Seungmin hadn’t known what he’d wanted until it happened, didn’t mean he’d take it back. “Of course not,” he snorts, before adding on in a more reserved tone, “Only if you don’t mind that it’s me.” 

Jeongin closes his eyes again but shyly wriggles towards Seungmin. “I’m glad it’s you.” He reaches out timidly, reluctance marring the movement like he’s ready to recoil at the slightest hint of rejection. Seungmin tentatively takes his hand- the two of them aren’t as accustomed to physical affection as their friends, but right now, Seungmin thinks he finally understands the appeal.

“I’m glad it’s you, too.”

Jeongin lets out a drowsy, contented hum.

And Seungmin? Seungmin decides that in these new coloured memories he’s making, red must be one of his favourite colours. 

**Author's Note:**

> wassup fellas here is an update sep 9 2020 - the below message doesnt reflect how i feel anymore. it was written right after woojin left (oct 30 2019) and before we knew anything, im only keeping it for reference of betrayal. woojin is fucking disgusting, a vile human. skz is 8 and will always be 8 fuck woojin he's dead to me! anyway love u all
> 
> \--
> 
> one important thing i wanna say: i started writing this a long long time ago and only finished up now. woojin will always be a part of any skz thing i write or any skz content i make. they always have been and always will be 9. district 9 for life my dudes
> 
> either way, i hope woojin flourishes on his new path and enjoys what he does. i'll still support him as though he never left. 
> 
> \--
> 
> if you're here, thank you so much for reading! it means a lot to me, and i hope you liked it!
> 
> also, i was thinking of possibly writing a cute little post-everything bit. probably something plotless, short and sweet. idk if anyone would be interested bc it'd probably be boring but i might indulge myself and write it anyway!
> 
> thank you again!!


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